About me

So, where to begin? I know the first question most people would have is why, actually several whys. Why would I even consider the idea of what is euphemistically called a mail order bride? Why would I open myself up to the stigma and probable ridicule that would come from posting a blog about the whole idea? Why post in unvarnished detail about the experience?

I know right off the bat many people will probably think I’m some looser who can’t get a date, or some psychopath who abuses women, or chauvinist who wants a docile woman he can control, or I am looking for some sort of sex slave. I know the stereotypes as well as anyone.

Now I do have to admit I do not know if I am typical, but in my case the stereotype couldn’t be further from the truth.

I am a successful 40 year old professional. I know, here come the first attacks. Yes I am 40, and yes I have money, that doesn’t make me the devil.

No I am not an out of shape, fat, ugly, old guy. I work out and I am probably in nearly as good shape as I was in my 20’s. Yes, my hair is thinning a little on top, guess what; it was thinning a little on top at 29. So I have always kept my hair short. Short, not bald, not a crew cut. I have gotten a little gray on the sides, just a little salt and pepper look, it actually looks good, and so no I don’t dye it. While I personally don’t consider myself above or below average in appearance, the women I have dated have always commented how handsome they felt that I was. I take these comments with a grain of salt, I doubt they would say “you know you’re a great guy but…”, somehow that just seems out of character to me. I am not conceded with my appearance, nor am I ashamed; I am merely comfortable with it.

Why don’t I post a photo of myself? Not yet, I might, it depends on how all this turns out. For the time being I prefer a little anonymity. I have no idea what the reaction to me doing this is going to be. I expect some degree of ridicule. I know there will be people who have made up their mind about me and my motivations regardless of reality.

Oh, I am however short. So if you really need to find a defect to justify my actions there you go. Sorry, it’s the best if got. I know it’s not quite what some of you have probably hoped for but it’s all I have. I will even admit that it is the one thing I am a little self conscious about.

No, I don’t think I can buy love. I don’t flaunt my status. I live a simple life, comfortable but simple. I don’t come from an affluent background. Everything I have I achieved on my own through hard work, sacrifice, and perseverance.

I am of above average intelligence. Yes, I know that sounds arrogant, but I am simply stating a fact. I don’t believe that I qualify for the burden of the ‘G’ word regardless of what I may have scored on a few intelligence tests.

I am divorced, twice actually. I know many of you are thinking “see, I knew there was something…”, but it’s not that ominous in reality.

My first marriage was simply a mistake of stupidity. Simply put neither of us was in love even from the beginning. All of our friends were getting married so it seemed ‘time’ to get married. No augments, no horrible ending we just were not meant to be together. After a few years we just ended up parting ways.

There were lessons learned from the first marriage though.

For example, I have heard people say time and time again “I want to be friends first” or “friendship is the most important thing in a relationship”. My first wife and I were friends, best friends even. We had lots in common, our sex life was alright, we literally never argued. But it was missing something, the passion, the romance, was just not there.

My second marriage was good. My ex-wife and I are still very close friends. We still love each other and care about each other’s well being, there has simply been too many mistakes made by both of us to be together. Our marriage failed for reasons I can only describe as a perfect storm of mistakes that compounded on each other. While we both made mistakes that served to worsen things I will gladly take full responsibility for the failure of the marriage. I don’t want to get into too much detail because I want to violate her privacy. But for whatever reasons that I felt justified it at the time I had an affair.

There were lessons learned from my second marriage as well.

Two wrongs not only do not make a right, they make a third, fourth, fifth, and so on wrong more likely. Things can quickly spiral out of control so that both of you feel like you’re riding a wave of mistakes rather than making decisions.

Oh, and an affair is not justifiable no matter how much you think it is.

So, let see what’s next.

Yes I have children. And I am a very involved and loving father. I have joint custody and they live with their mother. The oldest is 10. No I am not giving a lot of detail about my children; this blog is about me and my experiences in regard to a so called mail order bride.

I don’t drink. Nope not a drop. Not for religious reasons. I just don’t. I have in the past. The last time I did was when I was 16. I don’t care if others do, I simply don’t. I even have a stocked bar at home that is the envy of my friends. I entertain frequently and being a good host I am a rather good bartender. I do keep a stock of about 20 bottles alcohol removed wines for myself.

I am a smoker. About a pack a day. I know terrible nasty habit. So for those of you who hate smokers and the idea of a mail order bride now you have two reasons to hate me.

What else?