Wednesday, September 17, 2008


I’m not the kind of guy who got divorced and said ‘never again’. I liked being married. I liked my marriage for the most part. I still believe in love.

There have been a few things that have surprised me since I have been back in the dating mix. Since my divorce dating has been pretty easy for me, why I don’t know it just has been. I have been surprised by the women who seem to be attracted to me. When an beautiful, intelligent, 18 year old college freshman asks you if you want to go out, it’s a little surprising, and if you’re not an idiot you say “yes, of course”. Now if this only happened once and even twice you could say it was a fluke. I have been out with about 10 different women in the past 9 months, 4 of them asked me out. They range in age from 18 to 26. They all are either in college currently or have graduated with a college degree.

Now if I was into indiscriminate sex and wanted to date around I would be in heaven.

I want to find ‘her’, you know, ‘the one’. Yes, I still believe in the concept of a soul mate.

I have come so close, met many wonderful women. I know ‘she’ has to exist.

Here is my logic. There are an estimated 6,671,226,464 people on the planet. Out of that 3,310,483,706 people are female. Now consider that approximately 886 million of those women are between 18 and 30. Once more that leaves an estimated 253 million women in that age group who are not married.

Now out of these 253 million women what are the odds that ‘the one’ lives in a 50 mile radius of me? The odds are about 1 in 230 million.

The chances of hitting the grand prize on the Powerball lottery are 1 in 146 million. If I were to bet my life on winning the lottery you would rightfully think I was insane. But that’s exactly what we do every day when it comes to love.

Yes these numbers are real.

Stop and think about it. Somewhere out there is your perfect love. The one you have dreamed of since you had dreams of love. Even if there were thousands of people who qualified as your perfect ‘the one’ your odds don’t improve that greatly. How do you sift through all these people to find ‘her’?

Talk about a needle in a haystack.

I want Love, not just the common run of the mill blah relationship; I want to be head over heels for ‘her’.

Then it dawned on me. If I was looking for the perfect house I would get a realtor. If I were looking at investments I would get a broker.

We get professionals to help us with the biggest decisions in our lives. Why would love be any different?

I need to find someone who can help my search. I need a matchmaker.

One problem, matchmakers don’t exist in the US like that anymore, and the few that do have a small clientele making my odds worse not better.

We have convinced ourselves that love is a simple do-it-yourself exercise like remolding your bathroom. Our divorce rate reflects it too.

I need someone who is capable of casting a wide net and is able to match me against thousands of prospective women not dozens or even hundreds.

Then my odds improve.

Where do such services exist? Well, the closest things in existence are international marriage brokers. What is commonly called ‘mail order bride agencies’.

See this has nothing to do with not wanting an American woman. This has everything to do with wanting the right woman.

I love American women. The reality is that I have traveled quite a bit and I discovered people are pretty much the same everywhere. So where ‘she’ comes from makes no difference to me.

Oh, I know lots of people love to find the differences in each other and pick them to death. It makes them feel better, more superior. Here’s a little secret. Generalizations are bullshit.

Do you seriously think American woman are that different than women from anywhere else? Be real. Yes there are cultural differences. Guess what, those cultural differences are expressed right here in the good old USA too.

This is a country of immigrants. People seem to forget that. American woman ARE from Europe, Asia, Africa, and Latin America. Unless your Native American, guess what, you’re an immigrant, and proof that people are people.